by Shelley Poston It can be difficult to be clear-headed in a dating relationship.It is easy to see only the positive in the other person and completely ignore any warning signs. It would be foolish to date someone and not even consider the possible outcomes.While you do not want that to happen, it is reality. Also, if he wants you to meet all his needs, that is close to idolatry (Exodus 20:3, 4). Do not fall for the statement of, “I just care about you so much,” when a guy won’t keep his hands to himself.You will disappoint each other, not on purpose, but you will. The truth is, he cares more about himself in that scenario.Not only would it be foolish, but downright selfish.
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If there is always that possibility, then you must ask yourself whether this person has the qualities you will need in a husband. Ask yourself these questions: How strong is his relationship with Jesus Christ? How passionate is he about reading God’s Word, prayer, and fellowship with other believers in a biblically solid church? However, in Ephesians Paul compares a husband’s role toward his wife with that of Christ’s role toward His Bride, the Church, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, the she might be holy and without blemish,” (Ephesians -27, emphasis mine).
Christ’s role and a husband’s role do differ because only Christ alone can truly cleanse us.
He is already showing that he is unwilling to “forsake all others,” and that he is not living a pure lifestyle.
Paul writes in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong [defraud] his brother in this manner, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things…” God’s will is for your sanctification, which includes purity. If it is not, then he is a defrauder, who loves himself more than you or God. How does your date cope when things do not go as planned?