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Now that I'm with what I would consider to be my first "Grown Man" (whatever that really means) I find the need to baby talk has mysteriously mostly disappeared.Sure, I'm still sweet and affectionate, but I don't want to sound like a baby to him.I told myself that it didn't matter to me if a guy could take me to a nice dinner sometimes, or travel with me spontaneously.I told myself that those things were mostly superficial.Whether they only had part-time gigs or were straight up out of work, I gravitated towards guys who were still "figuring it out".It made sense — in some ways, I'm still figuring it out myself.As certain lessons about dating and relationships have started to become more clear, I feel oddly compelled to share a few things that I wish a 27-year-old had told 22-year-old me.I'm sure I wouldn't have listened, because you kind of just have to go through these things yourself.

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But at least I'll be more wary of my obsessiveness now.But the basics — chemistry, sex drive, how naturally dominant or submissive your partner is — those things are pretty damn fundamental to how you'll work as a couple.I spent a lot of time with nice, attractive guys who I just didn't have much chemistry with.Who knows what I'll want to do for the rest of my life, right?Well, here's the difference between me and most of the guys I dated: I'm actively pursuing something anyway, successfully.

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